Who can you trust these days? According to a recent study by the Pew Research Center, not too many people. Their survey found that Americans are struggling with trust. For example, the following percentages of Americans noted having little or no trust in…
Elected officials (63%)
Business leaders (57%)
News media (52%)
Religious leaders (38%)
Police officers (31%)
Trust is tricky. Millions of people may not trust elected officials, tonight’s news, or a religious leader, yet tens of thousands will trust scammers who tell them they owe money to the IRS or that there is money waiting for them in a Nigerian bank! And, according the U.S. Government (if you trust them), there were 1.4 million reports of fraud in 2018, and younger people fall for scams even more than older people do. So we DON’T TRUST politicians, business leaders and pastors, but we DO TRUST a guy in Nigeria, who we’ve never met, enough to send him money! While trust can be tricky, here are eight actions that will help build trust in an epidemic of distrust.
1. Start with trust.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I will never trust them again!”? Those are the words of a person who has been hurt and disappointed. But, if we consistently start with distrust, it will result in distrust coming back to us. In other words, while it may appear to be counterintuitive, distrust breeds distrust and trust breeds trust. Even when someone has violated our trust, we must discerningly and cautiously trust once again or they will never be able to rise above it.
2. Show genuine concern.
I recently read a story of a hospital administrator who was watching how the medical staff treated her father. She felt like they spoke about him but never asked him what he wanted. They cared about his health but not so much about the rest of him. People trust those who genuinely care about them. So often leaders live emotionally distant from those around them. This results in lower trust.
3. Spend time together.
I once had a negative view of a another leader. I had perceptions of him that were, to say the least, unflattering. But due to a change of circumstance, I had the opportunity to get to know him. And we became good friends! By spending time with him, I got to know him in a better and more accurate way. That is the benefit of spending time together.
4. Do what you say.
Politicians and most others who are trying to land a job have a propensity to make promises, some of which will be impossible to fulfill. For example, politicians promise to lower taxes and provide more services. Is that really likely to happen and succeed in the long run? Leaders promise to be “team-centered” and “collaborative” but sometimes fail to do so. If we want people to trust us, we would be wise to do what we say.
5. Tell the truth.
One lie can erase years of telling the truth. This is true in all relationships and professions including work, marriage, and friendship. As a leader, I can tell the truth three hundred times, but if I fudge it or straight out lie, the three hundred times of truthfulness will be forgotten, far overshadowed by the one lie.
6. Be transparent.
One of my clients and good friends is a master of this. He is quick to stand in front of others, even large groups, and acknowledge his mistakes, fears and failures. And the result is that hundreds of people love working for him and many leaders seek him out for counsel. Why does transparency build trust? Because it shows others that you trust them with your less impressive aspects and that you are human. People appreciate knowing you are like them - imperfect.
7. Be competent.
Competence is essential to forming trust, but it most often builds trust only when a certain skill set is needed. For example, when my daughter needed brain surgery as a child, we were not expecting to have the surgeon become our BFF. We just wanted the best surgeon we could find. He was definitely a world class neurosurgeon but with a personality that was a bit intimidating and cold. I had full confidence in him as a surgeon. And that was all I was looking for.
8. Be realistic.
No one manifests being trustworthy 100% of the time. All of us eventually disappoint, forget something important, make a major mistake, etc. Perhaps one of the challenges we face in declining trust is not just people acting in untrustworthy ways. It may also be that we have unrealistic expectations. Since we are broken, none of us will succeed if the expectation is perfection. As the writer of Ecclesiastes accurately states, “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins,” (Ecclesiastes 7:20).
Contact us to learn how our consultants can assist you in building trust in your team and organization!
Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
