47 years. That’s how long it has been since I was in 10th grade. So how is it that I can remember who my gym teacher was from that long ago? Because he was a person of influence. Every student knew him and respected him. The athletes. The academics. The delinquents. I can still remember him signing his initials (DPB) on the hall pass. So here are the five leadership lessons I learned from DPB 47 years ago that still hold true today.

1. You cannot influence people from a distance.

DPB was a personable guy. He was fun, friendly, and pursued kids in order to help them. He coached one of my brothers and became a friend of my family. When he and his wife bought an old farmhouse 40 minutes from the school, he asked me if I could help scrape and paint windows. Driving to the farm in his MG Midget convertible sports car to help him and his wife always felt like a privilege! And it was time for him to have a positive influence on me as well. Leaders with a positive impact know the value of influencing others through relationships.

2. Balance strength with care.

DPB was strong. He was the wrestling coach and a veteran of the military. Students knew he was tough. No one would have ever thought to go face-to-face with him. And no one would have ever wanted to disrespect him, but not because of his strength. It was because he was one of the most caring teachers in the school. Even today, long after retirement, DPB still stays connected to some of his wrestlers, including helping those who have had lives filled with trouble and bad choices. Strength without care leads to intimidation. Care without strength leads to weakness. But leaders with positive influence know that power comes in the balance of these two important traits.

3. More happens off the field and out of the classroom than in it.

Leaders with influence like DPB know that what they do during work matters, but what happens outside of work counts as much or even more. I remember going crabbing with my brother, dad, and DPB one Saturday morning at Jersey Bay. It was a different way of connecting, like showing up when someone is in the hospital, helping them rebuild their deck, or offering a hand when their basement floods. Leaders who leave the greatest positive impact do more than work – they connect.

4. Treat everyone with fairness.

One day in high school, a friend and I were wrestling in the hallway, and by that time, DPB was the assistant principal. Remember, I was the kid who helped paint his windows, and my friend was on his wrestling team – but that didn’t matter. We were doing something we weren’t supposed to and there was a price to pay. Detention or paddle (yes, things were different 47 years ago!). We had no interest in staying after school for detention, so the paddle was a welcomed option. Proverbs 21:9 says to judge fairly. DPB did just that. Leaders who have a positive influence are known for their fairness.

5. Lead well and your opportunities will expand.

DPB started as a middle school gym teacher and coach. Then, he moved to the high school. Next, he became an assistant principal. After that, he was hired to be the principal of another school and eventually became the superintendent of two different school districts. Talk to anyone who knows him or worked with him, and you will hear nothing but positive statements about his authenticity, care, leadership, and character. When we lead well, new opportunities will often emerge.

I am grateful for the lessons learned from the positive influences in my life. Contact us to learn how our experienced coaches and consultants can assist you in becoming the most effective leader that you can be.

Jay Desko is the President & CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.